Stand In The Rain
by magicaltears
Summary: I just decided to write this because we didn’t get to see Bella during the 4 month basically ‘leave of sanity’ during ‘New Moon’. So this is basically just a Bella POV piece. Her thoughts and her feelings.


Title: Stand in the Rain

Author: Britt

Disclaimer: I own nothing!!!!! All characters that are mentioned are property of Stephenie Meyer! Also the title and lyrics of this fic belong to SuperChick and the song is called "Stand In The Rain" Also there are a few quotes from 'Twilight' and 'New Moon' in this fic, and I don't own those either. The quotes that are from Twilight, New Moon, or the lyrics are all in italics.

Summary: I just decided to write this because we didn't get to see Bella during the 4 month basically 'leave of sanity' during 'New Moon'.

Author's Note: This is a contest piece for my site "Twilight Heart and Soul". If you'd like the link to join, head over to my profile and click on homepage. We are desperately in need of more people (and several canon characters are still available, about 3/4s of them are actually available. Lol). So please head on over. I'm the main ADMIN and creator of the site and my character is Isabella Swan. Anyway, I wrote this for the fic contest of the week and figured I might as well post it here as well. Please Enjoy!

Author's Note 2: Yes I know that Bella definitely cried before 2 months had passed, but I'm using my creative license and acting like she hadn't yet.

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Bella POV

It had been two months, and I still hadn't cried. I still couldn't wrap my mind around it. He had left me. He promised he wouldn't, yet he did.

Back when we were together, I knew he loved me, or at least I thought he did. He swore he'd stay by my side, but he left.

I knew I was being unfair to everyone, but I still couldn't deal with the pain.

He had left me.

No one understood what I was going through. I hadn't just lost my boyfriend, as most were always thinking (I may not have been able to read minds, but I wasn't an idiot), I lost a family! I lost an entire group of people who I had learned to count on and who had their own special place in my life.

My boyfriend and the love of my life: Edward.

The best friend I had ever known: Alice.

My big brother: Emmett.

A doctor who was always made sure not to hurt me (unlike the ER doctors who had sen me plenty of times in the last 2 months) and would never laugh at me no matter how many times I fell down for being a klutz: Carlisle.

My mother figure here in Forks: Esme.

A man who would protect me but give me my space: Jasper.

A woman who I missed though she wasn't fond of me: Rosalie.

I couldn't bare life without any of them in it. They had just all left me! None of them, for the exception of Edward, had even said goodbye! And the only reason he did it was so I would know that we were over.

Why didn't he love me?

I knew the rational reasons of course.

Look at him! Beautiful, perfect, god-like, these piercing eyes, the bronze-like hair, the marble skin. He was as perfect as anyone could get.

Then look at me. Plain, clumsy, boring and human.

I think that's what hits me the hardest…He left me basically because I was human, and I was distracting him.

For a moment, right before he left, he made me promise to keep myself safe. I had a fleeting hope that it meant he still cared…I was wrong.

He only cared for Charlie and Renee's sake.

Then he left me, in the forest, by myself.

Hadn't he made me promise last year I wouldn't wonder the forest by myself, he said and I quote _'Bella would you promise me something?'_

I remembered answering yes and instantly regretting it. Though I felt much better after he told me what promise I was making.

"_Don't go into the woods alone."_

When I asked him why, he answered simply.

_"I'm not always the most dangerous thing out there. Let's leave it at that."_

After that, after telling me that he wasn't always the worst thing in the woods, he leaves me alone. Granted, he left me on the path where I could get home easily, but still.

Didn't he care at all?

I knew the answer to that one, no he didn't.

I couldn't do anything anymore, nothing had meaning.

2 weeks after he left, I got into my truck for the first time (I had finally decided to go back to school) and there in all it's shiny glory was the stereo Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie had gotten me for my birthday. I almost cried then, but I didn't. Instead I turned right back around and found a box of tools my dad kept around. It took a lot of effort but I finally got the stupid thing out and stashed it in my closet, knowing I couldn't look at it.

I couldn't drive my truck without the huge hole reminding me of the stereo.

I couldn't watch Romeo and Juliet because they reminded me of us…or the us that used to exist before he realized I wasn't the right one for him.

I couldn't listen to any music, I actually threw out all my cds and deleted every song from my iPod.

Every song but 1 that is.

It was the only song I could bare to hear, because it was like the song was about my feelings. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the writer actually knew what was going on in my life and wrote the song for me.

_She never slows down._

_She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down_

_She won't turn around_

_The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down_

I was all alone, completely alone. Sure I had my mom, and my dad. But they didn't know everything I knew and I couldn't make them understand why this hurt me so badly.

_So stand in the rain_

_Stand your ground_

_Stand up when it's all crashing down_

_You stand through the pain_

_You won't drown_

_And one day, what's lost can be found_

_You stand in the rain_

I couldn't cry, I just couldn't let myself. I know my dad was worried. I overheard him earlier this week talking to my mom. I wasn't sure what was said, but I know he was worried. I didn't care enough however to try and soothe his fears.

_She won't make a sound_

_Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down_

_She wants to be found_

_The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down._

I can't deal with it. It just doesn't work. I'm getting nowhere quickly as I can't put the past behind me, and I'm not sure why.

_So stand in the rain_

_Stand your ground_

_Stand up when it's all crashing down_

_You stand through the pain_

_You won't drown_

_And one day, what's lost can be found_

_You stand in the rain_

_So stand in the rain_

_Stand your ground_

_Stand up when it's all crashing down_

_Stand through the pain_

_You won't drown_

_And one day, what's lost can be found_

_So stand in the rain_

_Stand your ground_

_Stand up when it's all crashing down_

_You stand through the pain_

_You won't drown_

_And one day, what's lost can be found_

_You stand in the rain_

Nothing has meaning anymore, and yet, I cannot force myself to give up. I know what it would do to Charlie and Renee. I couldn't do that to them. So as much as I wanted to quit, just lay in a ball and die. I wouldn't.

Yet…

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The End! I know this was sort of a weird one-shot, but oh well. Please review and tell me what you think!


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